What a gift it was to be in the room this past Thursday with Oprah’s carefully curated tribe of thought leaders ready to drop their most potent wisdom nuggets on us all in the span of day. As someone who teaches weekly, gives bi-monthly workshops through Aprecity and coaches people every week, it is oh-so-sweet to sit back and receive. I love basking in the inspirational rays of great minds and seeing what gets sparked or triggered from my own. The following nuggets are what stood out to me, the thoughts that buzzed around my brain or that made me go “ahh– this is good– I need to report back to the tribe!”, however they are in no way a complete spark notes of the event and after looking back at my notes, there are some people who totally escaped my notebook. This is not because they didn’t say brilliant or thought provoking things, it was just that I was so enthralled in their presentation that I did not take notes or nothing individually popped out as a “quoteable”.
GARY ZUKAV (author of Seat of the Soul — can’t recommend the book enough if you haven’t read it)`
– Gary describes are Soul as the Mothership in a fleet a boats and our Personality as a little boat trailing behind. He so clearly uses this analogy to demonstrate the free will of our little boat (our Personality) to sail whichever way it pleases. However, if we listen to the direction of our Soul and follow the Mothership across the ocean then we are more apt to have a voyage where the tides and winds support us, we may have storms but we will have an underlying strength to navigate through them. If we decide to ignore the Mothership and go our own way, it’s very likely we will be sailing against the winds, the current, and life will get difficult fast. We will experience life’s resistance just as the little boat in a big ocean going against the guidance of it’s Mothership. Loved this analogy! I had never heard it described quite like this before but I have a feeling that I will be quoting Gary a lot now in years to come because it really states it in such a tangible, accessible way to digest. I would add that when we meditate, take proper me-time and self-care, and fuel our bodies with clean, nourishing food, we allow ourselves to HEAR our Mothership (or Soul’s) navigation instructions. The Mothership is always there, just as we can always tap into what are Soul is saying but it does take the conscious turning down of the noise around us (or maybe a little less drinking and partying on our little boat?haha) to pay attention to where we are being guided.
– Gary refers to this life as “Earth School” (which I’m all about!) and says that we get presented assignments or things that may trigger/challenge us and we get to decide which part of our Personality we respond from. This is where it get’s a little advanced — let’s say it’s something as simple as an email that feels a bit short and rubs you the wrong way. What Gary is saying is that you can choose to respond from the unhealed part of your Personality that probably wants to hit delete or say something equally snarky back OR you can tap on a more evolved part of your personality that sees the situation from a higher perspective and considers that maybe this person was having a bad day, is overwhelmed or just writes cold emails and respond to it with warmth and class. I use that example (which could easily apply to texts or any interaction whatsoever) because emails probably trigger me 10x a day and I will be thinking of Gary now in my inbox and choosing to not sit in the part of my Personality that can feel harassed by people emailing me multiple times and maybe choose the part of my Personality that’s grateful for so many people wanting to contact me or collaborate with me OR even the understanding part of my personality that realizes that everyone has their own agenda and is totally oblivious to what’s going on in my inbox at any given time and that’s human and totally normal. I will let you guys know how this is going via instagram stories, haha.
– On INTENTION: every action holds an intention which is connected to both the cause and the effect. All intentions ultimately boil down to fear or love. Oprah talked about how when she was doing her show, she would make the producers come to her with their intention for the show when they presented the topic and if it wasn’t aligned with an intention she could get behind they would have to see if they could meet there or scratch the idea. It’s so important when putting out any sort of content whether it’s a TV show, a blog post or just an email or text you send. If you think about it in a business stand point, you can send that pitch email from a place of scarcity or an intention of “I need something” or “I need to make money so I can pay rent/surpass my income goal/etc” — it infects not only the email but also the effect the email has on it’s receiver. I get these kinds of emails all the time and they feel gross. Now, same subject of the email but with the intention “I’m so excited about X,Y,Z and I think it would be great for you to be involved” or “I want to help as many people as possible” etc and the email is totally different both in content and reception. This is an area where it’s not good enough to fake it till you make it, take the time and get yourself in the right heart space, be in a place of wanting to GIVE not take, and in LOVE (aka abundance) instead of FEAR (desperate and needy). This will change your whole gosh-darn life if you consciously reassess this in every area. In fact, I’m considering doing a whole workshop on it because I think it would just flip the switch on so many peoples lives — so let me know if that’s something you’d be interested in!
Favorite Gary Zukav quoteables:
“When Personality comes to fully serve the intention of the Soul that is authentic power.”
“Powerlessness is operating from the frightened part of your Personality.”
Glennon takes the stage and poses us the question, “How would your life change if you decided to stop being afraid of pain and instead embrace it?”
Well what came up for me immediately was that I would probably put myself out there more. I wouldn’t be so shy to tell people about how I felt about them and I would also spend less time trying to meditate, yoga or breathwork my way into another realm — if I’m going to be totally honest with you! I believe that all of those tools are transformative when done in the right intention, sometimes my meditation, yoga and breathwork help me to feel into my pain even deeper and allow it to move through me but in the spirit of full disclosure, sometimes I use them to check out of this human thing for a hot minute and go play in space.
Glennon talks about pain as the “hot, lonely space” and explains how that when we stop being able to sit in the discomfort, when we try to skip the whole pain part, that we also skip the transformation. The good stuff happens on the way through our pain. As we approach Easter Sunday, she appropriately compares it to the crucifixion and the resurrection. We all go through our mini (or sometimes massive) crucifixions but that’s what happens right before the resurrection — where we get to RISE. Just earlier today after my meditation class, someone had asked me how I got started with meditation and all this. I went straight to my very own dark night of the soul/crucifixion/hot lonely moment and it was through really being with my pain and letting myself feel all the feels that I emerged at the other end of the it.
From my own personal experience, I can with out a doubt tell you that feeling that pain transformed my life. I so fully surrendered to the sadness around my brother (for those of you who read the book, you know the whole story) my whole world shifted. I truly believe it shifted because I didn’t run from it. I listened to the guidance I received, I sat on my meditation cushion and cried my eyes out when I needed to.
Favorite Glennon Doyle Melton quoteables:
“We were made for pain.”
“The journey of the love warrior is to rush towards pain because our pain is our power.”
“There is no glory without going through the story.”
WES MOORE ( Author of “The Work: Searching for a Life that Matters”)
“I am never in a room I don’t belong in.”
I had not heard of Wes prior to Oprah’s event but he is quite the gentleman and a scholar. I honestly did not take many notes during his presentation because I was hanging on his beautiful words and enjoying his story. It was this quote that truly stood out to me. “I am never in a room I don’t belong in.” Wes grew up in a bad neighborhood, went on to be an investment banker on Wall Street, a Rhodes Scholar, and a New York Times Best Selling Author — to name just a few of the many “rooms” he’s been in. It would be so easy at any point along his journey to feel like he didn’t belong in the room (Truth be told, I have had tons of moments where I look around and I think “how did I end up in this room?!”) but his mother instilled in him from an early age that he had every right to be whatever room he showed up in.
I love this simple “mantra” of worthiness and also of divine timing because whether or not the room is with executives from a major network, Oprah or someone you love letting you know that they have been unfaithful, knowing that if you are there you belong there is a beautiful way of not only stepping into the amazing rooms you may end up in with confidence, it’s also about being present in the not so amazing rooms with trust and faith that they too have their place.
Gabby started out by letting us into her struggle with getting pregnant and how she realized that she was trying to “mastermind” the whole ordeal until she realized that it wasn’t on HER timeline and she needed to surrender. As she went into her story, it became so clear to myself as well as some of my friends in the audience that we all have an area of our lives where we are trying to “play God” or control everything. I’m sure your personal version of this is already popping up as you read this and if it’s not, you can just ask yourself if there’s an area of your life that just doesn’t feel like it’s flowing or that causes you the most anxiety and it should point you to the culprit.
Gabby shared her 5 steps to spiritual surrender:
(as well as how she channeled them because SHE deeply needed them as well)
1. Take your hands off the wheel through prayer. Forget what you THINK you need.
Trust me, I get that this is WAY harder than it seems, especially around the one thing but this is a MUST. I actually do this funny little hand gesture when I’m surrendering that almost looks like tossing a basketball up to God. I will show you on my instagram story tomorrow but imagine prayer hands, eyes closed and shooting away the situation in a “hoop” in the sky, haha. That’s just me — you do whatever works for you but I find having some sort of gesture for surrendering has been really helpful! Then after you’ve “tossed” it back to God or the Universe, you can reflect on the truth that YOU don’t know what’s best for YOU. Yes, I know you THINK you do but the truth is, if it’s not happening, there’s a reason for it and it will happen when it’s ready.
2. Focus on what’s working in your life.
You know when you want that ONE email about a contract for a job or that perfect apartment or even that cute guy to ask you out and you forget how freaking fabulous the rest of your life is because that ONE thing is not happening!? Well STOP IT. haha I kidddd, but not really. I do this too, and it’s SO important that after your surrender move you shift your focus to what’s working in your life. Girl, you have SO much going for you and if you tap back into the flow of all the goodness around you, it’s even more likely that you’ll attract the right work, apartment, man or whatever you’re calling in.
3. Obstacles are detours in the right direction. New bottoms bring you new levels of growth.
See, my Glennon pain story before. Part of that story (in addition to my brother’s illness) was the break up of a long term relationship that I had really thought was ‘it’. Talk about a detour AND a new bottom that spun my world around in a way that never would have happened with out those “detours in the right direction”. Life’s curveballs are loving redirections and the more you see them that way the better you can show up for them.
4. Ask for a sign.
I probably abuse this one, but if you don’t, then definitely try it out. The Universe loves to give you signs if you ask for them. So if you want to know if you are on the right track, ask for a sign. It could be something as abstract as seeing three birds on your window in the morning and just feeling their presence as a sign that you are supported in your new endeavor or you can ask for a more concrete sign. I love asking for super obvious signs that can’t be mistaken. Once I was asking about a work project I wasn’t sure if I should continue and the next day I got five different emails from people telling me it had changed their life (after months of nothing) and another time I was wondering if I was wasting my time with this guy I liked but didn’t seem to be moving things along and I literally saw his name in the cement a block away from my house twenty minutes later when I went to grab coffee. Universe knows I like it super obvious and in my face, haha. Play with this! It’s fun!
5. When you think you’ve surrendered, surrender some more.
Oh yeah. So this is not a magic bullet. You’ve got to keep doing the reps. Keep surrendering, redirecting your focus to what’s amazing in your life, trusting that everything is working out for the best and asking for signs when you need to. Rinse and repeat. Eventually it will get easier but somethings that we hold so closely and want so badly are the hardest to surrender so it’s going to take some effort! Trust me, always worth it, 100% of the time.
TONY ROBBINS (mystical energy wizard and self improvement king, author of “Unshakeable”)
“If you want to change your life, you need to change your energy.”
Our decisions shape our lives, even down to what we decide to focus on each day. Are you focusing on what you have or on what your missing? Because that decision alone will change how you experience your life.
“The biggest addiction most of us have is to our problems.”
1 – The Science of Achievement
a. Tremendous focus on what you want to create, where focus goes, energy flows.
b. Massive Action: take aligned actions towards what you want in your life.
c. Grace. You could also call this surrender but here’s where you let a force greater than you come in and work some magic once you’ve done your aligned earthly due diligence.
2 – The Art of Fulfillment
a. Find out what your favorite flavor of suffering is: stress, anxiety, overwhelm, sadness, anger, or maybe a combo.
b. Trade your expectations in the area you are suffering in for appreciation. You instantly end suffering once you get into a state of gratitude, love or appreciation.
“If other people have to behave a certain way for you to be happy, you will never be happy.”
So there you have it! A little all access pass to my notes along with some insights. I will say that I loved Tony Robbins rounding out the day because he has a powerful way of grounding spiritual principles. It’s not just about enjoying or relating to these abstract ideas, it’s about bringing them down in a way that you can utilize in your life. Yes, it’s important to surrender but it’s also important to take heart and soul centered actions towards what you want and then you step back and allow grace (the universe or God) to go to work.
The thing that stood out the most to me from the whole day, and the little soul download I received from the entire experience was that magic that happens when someone is so uniquely themselves and shares their message in a way that is true to them. All of the speakers from the day were amazing and I didn’t even get to give you notes on each one but what was left lingering in my heart was how unique each one was. All of them had similar messages of love, inspiration and living your best human life but they all chose to present their tools in a way that really sung to them. I loved it. I think it’s a reminder to myself as well as any of you reading this that we truly rise when we honor ourselves, when we sit confidently in who we are and don’t try to be a copy of anyone else. Embrace your whole glorious messy adventure and then find the gold to share.
Hope this was helpful for you! While not a typical kind of blog post for me, I did not want to hold these nuggets back from you. Let me know which ones really hit home and feel free to join me this Tuesday on Aprecity.com for the Full Moon in Libra workshop.