Finally, the second video in my “Dreaming to Doing It” series and we are tackling the nay-sayers!
I thought this was a super important topic to drop in on because that sad truth is that this is an inevitable reality that every big dreamer faces. You will at some point or another come up against someone (and gasppp –it could be someone that really loves you and that you really love!) who belittles your dream in a direct or indirect dream and if you are not primed for this, you may actually take what they say seriously. Which I would NEVER want you to do.
What a lot of people don’t talk about is the fact that so much of turning your dreaming into your doing is keeping it sacred in your heart and protecting it from the projections of others. Click the video below to hear some of my real talk on the subject as someone who deals with this on a regular basis..
So what do you think? Are you feeling more prepared to tackle those people who may diss your dream? Let me know in the comments below. I have found that so often with my clients, a lot of the battle is simply KNOWING that it’s just part of the course, it’s not personal and it’s something that everyone that you admire or feel inspired by has tackled at some point in their life and probably still continues to tackle it but is just better at putting the nay-sayers on mute by now!
If you want a deeper dive into turning your dreams in to your doings, visit my mentoring page for more info on booking a one on one intensive with me to give you a jump start.
This is one of those posts, I almost hate that I have to write but I could not resist. As many of you know, I got my start coaching pretty organically after running a successful blog, putting my life on the interwebs and having people genuinely wanting to work with me to help them. It was never some sort of business scheme to make a lot of money, it was quite honestly, a total surprise to me that I so effortlessly stepped into the role and truly loved what I was able to contribute to these ladies’ growth. In the past year or so, I stepped away from working one on one with people in as great of a capacity because of some strong negative feelings surrounding the coaching industry.
I would get sick to my stomach watching these coaches promise things they couldn’t even deliver for themselves and charging out-of-this-world prices for it. EVEN WORSE, bullying you if you didn’t find it reasonable to dive in for 10k or 20k a month!
I became so disgusted by some of my so-called colleagues that I had to go do some deep re-evaluation of if I even wanted to have any part in the industry.
Once I put the question on the table and opened myself up to seeing it in more depth, it was heart wrenching the stories that serendipitously ended up in front of my face. Stories of coaches who used intro calls to find someone’s tender spots and then pressed on them when it came time for payment, leaving these ladies feeling like if they didn’t cough up thousands of dollars they were “succumbing to the fears that were holding them back”. Gross. Gross. Gross.
I met a woman who “found” her coach because she kept on reaching out to her on facebook insisting on a free call and then once she took her up on it made her feel like she had to give her credit card before they got off the phone or she would lose the “special rate”. She told me that she told her coach in the first couple sessions that she would never want to get clients the way her coach got her because ‘it didn’t feel good”.
I had to break the bad news to her, if her coach knew ANY other way to naturally attract clients she wouldn’t have used those methods. She can’t teach what she doesn’t know.
Even writing about those few examples has my heart pumping and my eyes tearing. I want to take so many of these women in my arms and say, “It’s okay — you were hoodwinked. You were vulnerable and someone took advantage of you. It is NOT your fault that you fell for their low vibrational ways. Hold yourself through it and stand on the knowledge you NOW have about what you want and what you don’t.”
Here’s a vlog I made on the subject about how you can tell if a coach is right for you and some red alerts to look out for when it comes to those to avoid:
So now you know how to have your full wits about you while deciding who you want to work with as a coach. But is hiring a coach even the right move for you? Here’s another vlog I made on this topic, if you are not 100% sure you are ready to be working with someone or if you are having second thoughts.
So how did it end for me? What conclusion did I come to after almost a year of reflection and inner work around this topic as well as some VERY HEALING purging exercises of the anger I have towards some of the people who I see out there doing this?
I realized that I needed to be the presence of the alternative. The answer to the presence of the negative is not to hide, run away or disassociate, although I have compassion for myself for needing to go through that journey to be able to come back in full integrity and feel aligned again, THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS TO BE THE PRESENCE OF THE POSITIVE. TO BRING THE LIGHT TO THE DARKNESS INSTEAD OF RUNNING AWAY FROM WHAT’S TURNED DARK.
So for the first time, in quite a bit for me I am full force back and opening my doors to new coaching clients for both one on one sessions and my six-month Practical Magic Mentorship. AND I’m going to keep doing it my way, by putting out good content, by sharing my life and who I am authentically and allowing the people I can truly serve to come to me. I am going to be teach my soul-centered business clients and practical magic mentees the same thing, that they can have a THRIVING, ABUNDANT business without doing something that feels gross, without compromising their integrity. I’m going to shine even brighter because we have a lot of darkness to dissipate in this industry and I won’t let it push me out. I’m excited to build a little “army” of soul-centered lady bosses who are showing the presence of the positive, leading from the feminine, from their heart and creating flourishing business regardless of what industry they are in but especially if they are coaches, teachers, leaders, and aren’t we all always all of that at the end of the day?
Thank you for letting me share this with you. It was heavy on my heart and it means the world to me that I have a safe place with you beautiful beings to share my truth. Please comment below or in the youtube videos and let me know your thoughts and feelings on all of this and of course, if you’d like to join my tribe in being the presence of the alternative, you can check out my mentorship options here, I can’t wait to work with some of you on a much deeper level.
On the eve of my thirtieth time around the sun, I spent just a small chunk of my red eye coming up with these 30 things I learned before reaching 30. Truth be told, it’s a bit of a tradition for me to do this exercise each year on my birthday because I love rereading the stream of consciousness list of items I come up with and having a moment of gratitude for really being another year wiser, not just older. However, this year, since I’m entering a new decade and feeling wiser than ever, haha, I thought I would share it with you all! Keep in mind, I could do an individual mini novella on all of these lessons but for the sake of this post I kept everything relatively short and sweet. Feel free to comment below or on social media about the items that really hit home for you and of course, any questions or thoughts.
So here it goes, 30 things I learned before 30:
Sometimes the best decisions are the toughest ones to make.I’d say for most of my best choices in this past decade, those closest to me second guessed or straight up tried to talk me out of the most epic calls I’ve made. Luckily, I learned the importance of trusting YOUR gut above anyone else’s even earlier on in life.
When in doubt, go for the option that would make a better chapter in your memoir.This has been a hilarious but great barometer for the “should I just hop on that plane?” moments of life and I’ve yet to regret going for the more adventurous choice.
You are not your elevator speech, you are not your job — you are just gloriously you and that in itself is enough without any of the glitter and gold. You will survive past any title that anyone wants to give or take away from you and to the people who truly matter, it’s all just sprinkles on the top of the already amazing cupcake that is you.
You have to know deep inside your being that you are incredibly lovable because no man (woman/lover/etc) will ever be to make you feel that way if you don’t already know it yourself. Enough said, non-negotiable.
Be kind to everyone. See people. Smile at people. You never know how much someone might need that sunshine in the middle of a gloomy day. When in the depths of dealing with my brother’s illness, I’d have a guy hold the door for me at the supermarket because I had two bags in my arms and his kindness would make me tear up in gratitude. The little stuff matters. We all need those micro doses of human love and kindness.
Hearing your own intuitive guidance is 10% of the battle, the other 90% requires you actually trusting yourself enough to listen and having the courage to take some action.
The people who disappoint you need your love and forgiveness the most. This was a tough one for me but I truly have realized that people hurt themselves the same way they will hurt you. We are all our own worst critics and oftentimes our own worse crucifier so you can put down the sword and just send them love.
Pain is part of life but suffering is a choice you make.Sounds a little crazy, right? It’s a game changing decision to decide not to tolerate suffering. It’s amazing how much more effective you can be in handling any situation when you isolate the suffering from the actual pain. I’ve also gotten a lot of time back in my day from releasing it as soon as I see myself going down to suffer town. (P.S. “Stress” is suffering — we’ve just been tricked into thinking it’s normal and necessary. It’s a choice.)
The answer is always inside.To any and all questions — yes even ones involving big financial decisions– especially those! Trust your inner expert.
The most confident men(or women) will still need your love and compliments to feel their best.Don’t hold back your praise just because they are receiving compliments from everyone else. There is so much magic in the woman he loves (or man she loves) reflecting back to him how wonderful he is. Be a cheerleader.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. No one is perfect. No one is happy all the time. And anyone pretending to be either isn’t real or honest. It’s okay to experience the whole messy human spectrum — it can even be fun if you don’t take it too seriously.
Stop hiding how weird you are because there are so many people waiting to love and connect with your quirky side.You can’t find your tribe if you don’t take off that mask your wearing.
Don’t pay attention to what anyone else is doing, how old they are, how many followers they have or how picture perfect their life looks on social media. Keep your eyes on the road in front of you, listen to your own gps system and you will get exactly where you are meant to go so much faster.
Keep the impossible on the to do list.For some of the greatest things I’ve done, everyone in my life thought I was ‘delusional’ or ‘naive’ when I first put them on my agenda. That lyric, “if you can dream it, you can do it” is actually truer than you may think. (That song also always make my heart explode and tears roll down my cheeks — “I believe I can fly” by R. Kelly… before he got trapped in a closet.)
Release what you thought it was supposed to look like.Focus on how it would FEEL and allow that to be your compass.
“The best thing to hold on to in life is each other” – Audrey Hepburn, call your grandma, tell your parents how much you freaking love them and drive the six hours to hang out with your brother. You will never regret the time you spent with family. They are your greatest treasure (even when they drive you crazy).
Pets are angels sent here to show us unconditional love.Don’t be ashamed that you talk to your dog, cat or fish — I’m pretty sure that you’d be weirder if you didn’t. It’s okay to love them to pieces and it’s also okay to be a hot mess when they pass. Don’t let anyone tell you different.
Best friends are just as precious as family.Being across the country hasn’t made a stitch of a difference in my relationships with my nearest and dearest. Although I miss hanging out in the flesh often, I’m so grateful for regular cross country calls and text threads. They make my life so much sweeter.
Writing a book is more intense than anyone tells you it’s going to be but more rewarding than you could have imagined.Holding this thing you created in your hands or watching someone you’ve never met buy it barnes and noble and email you about how it’s changing their life is never not a surreal moment. One of the coolest yet hardest things I’ve done to date for sure.
Sleep is a magical cure all.Getting proper sleep will make you a whole new human. 8 hours of solid sleep will allow your body to do what it does best and self regulate and heal. Listen when it wants more, it has work to do.
Honor the seasons of your life, they all have their benefits.Winters and falls in your career or love life allow you to release what doesn’t work, rest up, take care of yourself and get yourself in fighting shape for spring and summer when you’ll be grateful you had that time to rest and reflect before life got so busy and blooming again.
Music is great medicine for the soul. Choose what you ingest wisely but use it liberally in your day. I don’t know what I would do with out it. I have a playlist for almost everything.
No one actually knows what they are doing.There are only varying degrees of pretending like you maaybbbee might. We are all just winging it…(cause that’s what angels do, haha.)
With all decisions, pretend life is a video game and two options drop down from a menu –– do X or do Y. The option you’d choose in the video game tends to be what you truly want and the option you lean towards in life will usually be what will ruffle the least feathers or cause less friction. Do your video game choice.
Being sensitive is a super power.My body is so sensitive and often people feel like they should feel bad for me because of it. I actually see it as more of a secret weapon that it’s actually able to communicate to me so clearly what food and products are hurting it or toxic. Even my feelings, which can be intense, show me the soul aligned answers to most decisions before my mind can even get to it’s rational and logical conclusion.
Always bring your own food for flying. (C’mon – – had to sneak one health one in there..) Chia seed pudding with fruit and granola (for morning flights) and guacamole or a salad for later flights will always make you want to give yourself a pat on the back a few hours into the your journey. Snacking on my gluten free pretzels and guacamole that I brought from home as I write this on my flight tonight and I’m happy as a clam!
When someone wants to be in your life, they’ll make it happen. Life is too short to chase people who don’t want to make time to see you. Whether it’s a guy who’s not asking you out or a girlfriend who constantly flakes on plans and is hard to reach — let go of the people who don’t care if you are in their life and get to loving on all the fabulous people who do!
Just ask!You never know the answer unless you put yourself out there and ask the question. At the end of the day, regardless of position or power we are all just people. Be kind, courteous but certainly throw your hat into the ring. The Wayne Gretzky quote, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.” is a mantra that plays frequently in my head when it comes to making a courageous ask for something I truly want.
It’s a beautiful thing to enjoy your own company.And it’s perfectly acceptable to schedule time with yourself on your calendar, in fact, I highly recommend it. If someone can’t respect that you would rather show up for your pre-planned me time date than go to some last minute party, that’s their problem.
Life is a big amusement park.We are all just riding our own rollercoasters. Sometimes your going to be on the way up and sometimes you’ll be on the way down. Neither is permanent and as long as you realize your on a ride, you can enjoy the whole journey.
PS. In true birthday spirit, I also got really clear about where I want to go this next year and what adjustments need to be made. Cliff notes version: Aprecity is shifting to include a facebook group where we can take our community building and support to the next level (keeping it open to the public for the first 30 days so join here if you are curious!), the majority of my focus is going on Eat with Intention! I’m excited to be traveling for more book signings and speaking engagements as well as churning out new episodes of Eat with Intention TV and aligning with a network to help grow the show even further, to make room for this I will only be taking on 4 full time ‘practical magic’ mentorship clients at a time and a la carte sessions when possible based on my schedule. If you are interested in either, visit my coaching page to book a session or get on the waitlist once it fills.
Two weekends ago I had the divine blessing of having one of my oldest friends come to visit me for a long weekend. I’ve known Blair for what feels like eons, or maybe just since Algebra class freshman year of high school, it’s hard to remember. Blair and I have always been a bit of an odd couple, she’s super smart, very practical, logical, was always a great voice of reason during my early dating years when being irrational was pretty much the only station on my radio. Blair is one of those friends I could always trust for the straight answer, even when it might sting, and that is something I tremendously respect.
I’ve always been just a little more “out-there” and wild. Yet, we have always got along fabulously because above all else, we are just really big fans of each other. We entertain each others’ pleasures with an open mind and a lot of love and respect for one another. Needless to say, I was beyond thrilled for her to come see my new home and to hang out.
We talked a lot while she was in town, we also had a lot of fun hiking, spa-daying, eating at all my favorite places and even dancing at a dive bar in Venice. And then on her last day, she did something that was a total game changer for my life.
She showed me how to properly utilize my to do list and calendar.
Talk about the ying to my yang — organization and systems are often a foreign language to me. You are talking to a girl who has a million mini to do lists that she writes in various colors of magic marker because they look “more fun” that way, haha. Yet, as I opened up to Blair about what was going on in my business and heard her more corporate, effective, logical ways of executing — I knew it was THE MOST TREMENDOUS BLESSING!
She literally sat with me and helped me organize my calendar and showed me her methods for assigning and completing tasks. She even helped me with certain ways to properly and effectively delegate certain tasks. It was exactly what the doctor ordered and I could not have been more jazzed or grateful about my incredibly expansive feeling new system for getting things done.
A pic from Blair’s epic wedding a few years ago
However, the even bigger breakthrough came a few days after Blair left when there I was sitting at my dining room table, staring at my jam packed google calendar and realizing that I had forgotten to schedule something MAJOR.
There was no time allotted for my JOY!
I do this exercise, it’s almost like a goal setting exercise but with the kind of person you want to be and so I write out all the roles I’m really passionate about playing in my life. Everything from sister, daughter, girlfriend to health cooking show host, author, mentor, etc. As I was looking through my days, I barely saw some of these important parts of mine on the calendar. It’s no wonder I had been feeling exhausted and depleted the past few months — I wasn’t scheduling in all the things that truly LIGHT me up.
Seeing it all there in front of me, allowed me to go in and allocate daily blocks where I do things that JUICE me up, things like mini-workout breaks in the afternoon, writing time in the evenings and even an hour a day where I do outreach on passion projects of mine. Just putting it in my calendar felt like a breath of fresh air. It also really got me thinking about how I can infuse MORE joy into the tasks that were feeling a little stale, like email, I now play my favorite Spotify station while checking email or just have my assistant go through them while I’m working so it doesn’t feel so daunting for me with the constant inflow. I schedule recipe testing in the middle of computer tasks to get me up and in my element mid-day and I even got a major hit to revise my mentoring program while on this alignment through joy train!
That’s right.
Being in the flow of J O Y even more than usual opened me up to the courage to truly come out of the closet about what I’m really here to do when it comes to mentoring women one on one. And that is nothing short of magical.
See, joy/happiness/bliss/flow — they are all different words for the same thing, being in the truth of who we really are. When you are laughing, smiling and enjoying yourself you are connected and plugged in to the real you and that is where the magic happens.
For me, this gave me just the push I needed to totally revamp my coaching offerings after taking a few months off from new coaching clients and really dig deep into what I genuinely felt called to share. You can watch the video and read all about that here but in short it made me come out about not only the level of depth I LOVE going to with my mentorship clients (connecting to past lives, ascended masters, angels and ‘peeling the layers off the onion’ to get down to the nitty gritty of who they really are and what they are meant to do in this world as well as gracefully navigating life lessons and creating a life they love) but it also pushed me to introduce a model that you hardly ever see with coaches/mentors because so many people are stuck in “program mode”. For me, my most transformational clients are on-going clients, three month programs are great but they leave us just comfortable enough to wade into the deep end without having fully dived to the depths. So I’m doing something a little crazy, a tiny bit scary but epicly exciting and incredibly joyful — I’m taking on TEN new lightmaker clients for my on-going mentorship program. My rates are more affordable than ever and you can cancel at any time, obviously.
IT FEELS SOOOOO FREAKING GOOD.
I can’t wait to meet these new ladies and hold the light for them as we navigate this path together.
In summary, schedule in your joy to your calendar because you won’t believe the magic, revelations and ah ha’s that unfold when you spend more of the day in your true self!
And if you think one of those ten spots has your name on it, schedule your introductory call over here because I’m sure these spots wont last long.
In this video, I discuss what’s going on astrologically in the next few days with the full moon in sagittarius and summer solstice on june 20, 2016 and how you can best utilize this time for your own growth.
In this video, I’m kicking off a four part series about the BIGGEST blocks I had for starting my own business, stepping into who I was as a light worker and really going big and shining bright in this world. Let me know if this resonates with you in the comments below and what challenges come up for you when shining your light! Stay tuned for the next three videos, I’m sure these will hit home and help you bust through some blocks that are holding you back!
Watch my girl Gabby Bernstein’s video on how to bust through the 3 most common blocks when wanting to shine your light and be a spiritual entrepreneur here: https://xh111.isrefer.com/go/sjmvid2/Cbodzak
Today is a blue moon or a full moon in Sagittarius and I wanted to dig a little deeper into whats coming up for me around this full moon and talk to you about how to best interpret this energy right now! Sagittarius is all about truth telling and full moons signify completions, the past few weeks (or even months) may have felt like a roller coaster of ups and downs, productivity and stagnation and now we are gaining more clarity around our personal truth and collective truth. Watch the video for how to navigate this as gracefully as possible plus some other themes that have been coming up around this energy and how to best utilize them!
In today’s video I share with you my daily routine and how I keep up with my morning rituals on the road when I’m traveling. I get asked a lot about what I do every day in the morning and I was feeling called to share a bit more of my life with you guys for this one so let me know what you think and if you want to hear more about my day to day and what I’m up to like this!
Sign up for my ONLINE WORKSHOP – “Go Big, Shine Bright” about conquering self-sabotage and elevating to the next level of being in your life here: http://gobigshinebright.splashthat.com
This vlog is real and unfiltered – a day in the life – how I juggle (or don’t) work while traveling for business. It’s the end of the first day of the Garden of Life Blogger Summit here in Palm Beach, FL and I’m laying out the realness on what it looks like when you travel a lot for work and have tons of emails, clients and projects to work on! Let me know your thoughts and questions in the comments below.
I’ll be in NYC 5/27 for my Go Big Shine Bright meditation workshop and talk, I hope to see you there OR you can order the workshop online to watch from wherever! RSVP here: http://gobigshinebright.splashthat.com
This video is all about how to deal with disappointment, it can be used whether your need help healing after a break up or bouncing back after missing out on a major career move. Let’s get real, sometimes things don’t go our way and we feel crappy about it, we get sad. It’s okay. We are human and it’s okay to be upset over a disappointing situation. In this video I share with you the perspective switch that allows me to feel my feelings and move onwards!
In this video I discuss something that has been a BIG assignment for me the past couple years — taking the power back in my schedule. If you have ever felt overwhelmed by your inbox, distracted by your text messages and just felt at the mercy of an overpacked schedule, this one’s for YOU! I work with a lot of aspiring entrepreneurs and once their business is up and kicking, it becomes so easy to fall into the trap of being overly busy with other people’s agenda. Here’s how I reclaim the power around both my inbox and my schedule so I can get the things that matter to me done and run my day.
